Navigating the New School Year: A Mental Health Guide for Parents | Therapy for Parents in Austin

As the new school year approaches or as it has begun for some, parents everywhere are busy checking off school supply lists, arranging carpools and adjusting routines. But amidst all the practical preparations, there’s another area that deserves just as much attention: your child’s and your mental health.

Whether school is just beginning, already underway or right around the corner, here are a few things to consider as you gear up for the first few days and even weeks of school.

1. Acknowledge and Address Anxiety

A new school year can bring excitement, but it can also stir up anxiety, especially after long breaks or transitions to new schools. Kids might worry about fitting in, keeping up academically or even adjusting to a new routine. As a parent, it’s important to create a space where your child feels safe expressing these worries. A simple, open-ended question like, “How are you feeling about the new school year?” can invite your child to share what’s on their mind.

It can also be helpful to take a little time and space to reflect for yourself. What are your concerns or anxieties? Once you’ve figured this out, it can be helpful to share some of them with your child as well so that they know they are not alone and that these feelings are completely normal, especially around this time of year. For more information, check out my anxiety therapy page.

Making a list of age-appropriate concerns/anxieties and working through them can be calming for both you and your child. Quality time like this can help you both feel grounded, connected, and prepared for what’s to come.

2. Set Realistic Expectations

Academic success is important, but so is emotional and physical well-being. Set realistic goals for your child and emphasize the importance of effort over perfection. Celebrate their progress, however small, and remind them that it’s okay to make mistakes - learning is a journey, not a race. 

This goes for you as well. What expectations are holding on to? Are they realistic or can they stand to be updated? Unrealistic expectations are the killers of joy and can set both you and your child up for lots of unnecessary disappointment.

Coming up with goals together is a wonderful way to set and even reset expectations. You can get a better understanding of what your child is thinking/hoping for and then you can set your expectations accordingly. If you’re not aligned, have conversations around why and try to come to a compromise that suits everyone. A child that is “bought in” is much more likely to work toward and achieve their goals than a child who has arbitrary expectations set upon them. If you need help navigating this, check out my therapy for parents page.

3. Routine is Your Friend

While the transition from a relaxed summer schedule to a structured school day can be challenging, establishing a consistent routine can provide a sense of security for both you and your child. Regular bedtimes, healthy meals and scheduled homework time can help create a stable environment that supports all around health.

It can also be helpful to start preparing the week before. Set alarms a few minutes earlier each day and talk through what the days will look like. I saw a creative IG post about a mother who set her alarm for school starting the week before and then took her kids out for donuts and play time to get their bodies up and moving. Your life doesn’t have to mimic this but starting a few days earlier than necessary will help everyone’s bodies and brains adjust more easily to a new schedule.

When setting schedules, it’s also important not to overschedule and to allow time to rest and reset. It can be hard not to get caught up in the intense extracurriculars everyone else is signing up for and it can be stressful to pull back and not overschedule. But I advise you to slow down, collaborate with your child and come up with a schedule/routine that works for everyone. Remember, a rested body and brain is one that can achieve so much more than a stressed out, exhausted one.

4. Model Healthy Stress Management

In order to manage stress, you must first be aware of what is stressing you out and what your own stress levels are. On a scale of 1-10, rank your stress level and take some time to think about what is stressing you out. Take stock of the things within your control and work on those and try to let go of the things that are out of your control. Breathe. If you struggle with stress/anxiety management, check out my anxiety therapy page.

Your child is likely to take cues from how you handle stress. Show them healthy coping mechanisms, such as deep breathing, taking breaks, or even discussing your own feelings in an age-appropriate way. Ask them about their stress levels on a scale from 1-10 and inquire about how they manage their own stress. If either of your stress levels are too high to manage, seek outside help. Normalizing stress lets them see that it’s okay to take care of yourself and that seeking help when needed is a strength, not a weakness.

5. Stay Connected

As the school year gets busier, it’s easy for quality family time to take a backseat. Make it a priority to spend regular, meaningful time together, whether it’s through family dinners, weekend outings, or simple daily check-ins. These consistent moments of connection can be a crucial support system for your child.

Every moment of connection is important, but I want to take a little time to highlight just how important family dinners are. “There have been more than 20 years of dozens of studies that document that family dinners are great for the body, physical health, academic performance, and the spirit or the mental health of children… Kids who grow up having family dinners, when they're on their own tend to eat more healthily and to have lower rates of obesity… [Additionally] regular family dinners are associated with lower rates of depression, anxiety, substance abuse, eating disorders, tobacco use and early teenage pregnancy and higher rates of resilience and self-esteem (https://www.gse.harvard.edu/ideas/edcast/20/04/benefit-family-mealtime). Family dinners do not have to be fancy or take hours to prepare. Even takeout or cereal eaten together can reap the benefits listed above as the rewards come from taking time out of busy days to slow down, be present and genuinely connect with each other.

6. Keep an Eye Out for Red Flags

While some anxiety or stress is normal, it’s important to stay alert to signs that your child might be struggling more than usual. Changes in sleep patterns, withdrawal from activities or unexplained physical complaints can be signals that your child is experiencing more than typical school-related stress. If you notice these signs, try talking to your child in a calm and supportive manner. Ask open-ended questions and give your child time to respond. Again, they will read your cues so if you show stress, impatience, or frustration, they will likely close up because the space doesn’t feel safe enough to share and they cannot trust that they will be supported. If more support is needed, consider reaching out to a school counselor or mental health professional - we are here to help. Asking for help takes a lot of strength, so please be kind to both yourself and your child.

7. Take Care of Yourself, Too

Parenting through a new school year is a marathon, not a sprint. While as a parent, your focus is usually on your child, it is just as important to focus on your own mental, physical, and emotional wellbeing. Whether through regular exercise, talking with friends or setting aside time for hobbies, taking care of yourself will set both you and your child up for success in the long run.

As the new school year kicks off, remember that mental health is just as important as academic success. By staying connected, setting realistic expectations, and modeling healthy behaviors, you and your child can navigate the challenges ahead with resilience and confidence.

As always, if I can be of service in any way, please don’t hesitate to contact me. I specialize in anxiety therapy, self-esteem therapy, relationship skills therapy, couples therapy, therapy for parents and therapy for big life changes.

Wishing you all connection and joy this academic year!